@@@HEADLINES@@@
WE TAKE YOU NOW LIVE TO THE SCENE WHERE INVESTIGATORS ARE SEARCHING THROUGH LOLALOTS GARBO...WELL
HI THERE READERS ITS A SLOW NEWS DAY SO I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE SOME INTERESTIN STUFF HERE...WHOA WHATS THIS? OMFG ITS GEEZER
PORN...EWWWWWW...THIS GUYS WEEWEE LOOKS LIKE A RAISEN.....OMFG ITS ME!!!!!
%%%TRUSTME LEAVES VEGAS SQEAKY CLEAN%%%
RETURNING SURPRISINGLY CLEAN FROM A WEEKEND IN VEGAS, ORGANIZERS OF THE KITCHEN AND BATH SHOW
SAID "AT FIRST WE WERE QUITE ANNOYED WITH TRUST BATHING IN OUR TUBS WITH A DIFFERENT PARTNER EACH HOUR BUT THEN WE WERE APPROACHED
BY MGM MANAGEMENT AND NOW WERE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE "TRUSTME BATHING DANCE ENTOURAGE" WHO WILL BE APPEARING EVERY WEEKEND
WITH ZIGFRIED AND ROY. THIS WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN OUR PLANNED CIRCUS ACT WHICH ONLY WOULDA BEEN A "CUNNING ARRAY
OF STUNTS"
MAY 11 05
$$$JIM RUSHED TO HOSPITAL...DOWNED BY FUMES$$$
AFTER MONTHS OF TOE RAMMIN UP ALL OUR CHUTES, JIM SAT DOWN TO CUT THE INFAMOUS TOES NAIL....THE EMERGING
FUMES THAT HAS FESTERED BEYOND ANY RECOGNIZABLE FORM OF BIOLOGIC CREATION, IMMEDIATELY MAD JIMS FACE A SOLID GREEN AND FELL
HEAD FIRST TO THE FLOOR....THE MICH STATE HAZMAT TEAM RESPONDED QUICKLY TO SEAL IN THE FUMES AND A TOXIC RELEASE WARNING WAS
ISSUED TO RESIDENTS UP TO 3 MILES DOWNWIND....JIM IS RECOVERING WELL AND WAS HEARD TO SAY "WHEN IM BETTER ILL BE BACK TO RAM
JAM MY TOES AGAIN"
MAY 10
@@BEACH ROBBEB IN SHERWOOD FOREST@@
BEACH IN HER WISDOM STEPPED INTO THE FOREST AND IN A BAT OF AN EYE BECAME THE LATEST ROBINHOOD VICTIM
AS SPANKY N P WATCHED....HOWEVER BEACH FOUND A VOLUNTEER VICTIM OF HER OWN TO SHAVE THE EXCESSIVE HAIR OFF HER BACK
MAY 10 2005
@@@MOODY ON HER KNEES@@@
CONVICTED CEREAL KILLER MOODY WAS DISCOVERED ON HER KNEES TODAY BY ONE DYMDPRNCSS....DYM WAS HEARD
TO SAY CAN I DO CAPN CRUNCH NEXT?
###DYMS NAKEDNESS MAKES HUNEY DROOL, ETC...###
IN HER TRUE TEASE MANNER DYM ONCE AGAIN CAME TO THE KITCH NEKED. THIS REPORTER OBSERVED THE RESPONSES OF 1 TRIPLESHOTOFHUNEY
AND COMMENTED, TO WHICH HUNEY REPLED, "SHE MAKES ME WETTER THAN THE HOOVER DAM".....IN OTHER NEWS...LIBERTY INDIANA WAS RAVAGED
BY A FLOOD OF EPIC PROPORTIONS....ONE CITIZEN WAS HEARD TO SAY "ITS LIKE A DAM HAS BURST
MAY 10 2005
###TRACY LONGS FOR SPANKYS CU....ISINE###
An inside source, very trustworthy, NAMED HERIN AS THE 2ND PARTY TO A PARTY has brought to my attention take spanky is
deep down truly in love with tracy. she loves when tracy calls her all those foul names, and breaks out the whip. it has been
said that as tracy calls her these names she sits and plays with herself screaming more more more. now can everyone get a
mental pic of that in their head???? PRICELESS....THIS REPORTER WILL TRY AND SET UP A LOVE IN TWEEN TRAC AN SPANK AND REPORT
ON THE SLOSHING AN MUSHING OF THEIR HOT, MOIST CU......ISINES!!!
!!!!!! CODA CRASHES POGO!!!!!!
IN A BID TO GAIN SUPREME CONTROL OF POGO AND PAD HIS EUCHRE RATING, CODA CRASHED POGO WHEN
HE SAID TO HISSEF "HMMM IF I PLUG MY MOUSE INTO THE WALL..." ZOT ZAP KABOOM DOWN WENT POGO. CODA WAS HEARD TO SAY "DOH OH OH OH, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD" WELL BOYS WILL BE BOYS HEHE!!!
$$$DUDE STIFFS HOOTS FOR MONEY$$$
HOOTERGIRL OBVIOUSLY BUYING HER LOVIN THESE DAYS GOT STIFFED FOR HER MONEY TODAY...THIS REPORTER
SUGGESTS SHE SAVE MONEY AND GET STIFFED FOR FREE
FROM THE LIKES OF TRAMP, SEXPOET ETC...
^^^HUNEYS PUSSY HAVIN BABIES^^^
IN A STARTLING REVELATION TODAY HUNEYINDABUFF DECLARED "MY CATS HAVIN BABIES" THIS REPORTER
ASSUMES THAT ALIENS WERE THE CAUSE AND WILL REPORT ON HUNEYS 2 HEADED BABIES AFTER THE TYPICAL 3 DAY ALIEN GESTATION PERIOD.
**NAVY BECOMES GOLDEN GIRL**
WE WILL HAVE A LIVE CAM ON NAVYS DRESSER TO CATCH HER FIRST MOMENTS AS A GOLDEN GIRL WHEN
SHE WAKES UP MON MORN....NAVY WAS HEARD TO SAY "IM THE HOTTEST STEAMIEST SENIOR THERE WILL EVER BE!!!" HAPPY BDAY NAVY!!!!!
MOTHERS DAY 2005
&&&KELLY GETS A GREENBACK&&&
MEXICANS ACROSS THE LAND REJOICE AS KELLYS STATEMENT "I GOT MY GREENBACK" REVERBERATED THROUGH
THE HARD MEMBERS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS. PEDRO FROM SAN DIEGO SAID "RIPPA RIPPA UNDULAY DAT KELLY SHE DA OOO OOO SINARITA
FOR MY MEATA!!!
MAY 6 2005
@@SPANKY IS A HO@@
THIS REPORTER ARRIVED AT SPANKS RESIDENCE TO INVESTIGATE RUMORS OF HER PERMISCUOUS WAYS.
AT THE DOOR I WAS MET BY 9 GUYS WITH MINK WHIPS, CHAINS AND KY JELLY....AS I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD TO ESCAPE THE MELEE I
COULD NOT CONFIRM THE ALLEGATIONS BUT WE AT THIS PAPER WILL ASSUME THEY ARE TRUE...JUDGE FOR YERSEF!
MAY 5 2005
@@@ARRIVING BY THE CARFULL TO LIE ON BEACH0920@@@
SUNTAN LOTION IN HAND ALL THE BOYS GREASED THEMSELVES TODAY TO LAY ON THE BEACH. SOME
WERE HEARD TO SAY UPON LEAVING...WHERES THE SAND?
MAY 3 2005
###VIPER DOES IT IN KRAFT DINNER### QUOTING VIPERS STATEMENT "FOR THE LOVE OF KRAFT DINNER"
THIS REPORTER EXTRACTED THAT VIP LOVES TO SLOSH ABOUT IN A POOL OFF KRAFT DINNER WHEN SHE GETS THE OSCAR MEYER.....FFS THIS
SITE IS A FOOD PRODUCTS PROMOTER
MAY 3 2005
$$$KANADIAN KITTEN BITCHSLAPS JIMMY$$$
IN A FIT OF UNSATISFIED RAGE TODAY KK SLAPPED JIMMY AS HE DID THE BUTTONS UP ON HIS LEVIS
AND SAID THANKS IM DONE!!! STAY TUNED TO SEE IF KK WILL HAVE JIMMY KIDNAPPED AND TIE HIM UP AND MASTERBATE IN FRONT
OF HIM THEN THRO HIM OUT W BLUE BALLS
MAY 1 2005
&&&ROB BANGS TRAMP WHILE POP WATCHES HUNEY DO HOOTS%%%
WELL WELL WELL IT SEEMS ROB N TRAMP HAVE BEEN HIDING THEIR TRUE AFFECTIONS FROM ONE ANOTHER
AS WELL AS THEIR DESIRE TO BE EXHIBITIONISTS IN THERE STOOL PACKIN ANTICS. TRAMP WAS HEARD TO SAY PUT POP IN THE MIDDLE...AN
OBVIOUS ATTEMPT TO SWITCH OUR READERS ATTENTION FROM HIS TRUE INTENTIONS
DYM DOES NEIL&&&
NEIL WAS FOUND LYING IN THE ROAD WITH A NEAR FATAL GUN WOUND TODAY...SOURCES TELL US THAT
DYM REALLY DID HIS GUN WELL PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL HES NOT MAN NUFF FOR A 10 LIKE DYM.
MAY 1 2005
^^^TRACYLYNN THREATENS LICKING EMBARGO ON BABIES^^^ CONCERNED SHE WAS GUNNA END UP IN THE
NEWS TRACYLYNN BEGGED BABS TO SAY SHES A GOOD GIRL? TRAC THEN THREATENED TO CUT OF BABS FROM FUTURE LICKS. UM TRAC IF U DINT
WANT IN THE NEWS WHY WOULD U MAKE THAT STATEMENT ROFLMAO.
MAY 1 2005
%%%CODA STAVES OFF TOE LOVE FROM JIM%%%
HYDROS ATTEMPT TO GET HIS TOE IN CODAS BUTT TODAY BY SAYIN I LOVE U WAS THWARTED BY NEILS
QUIK ACTION OF CORKING HIMSELF...JIM W VERY LITTLE HOPE OF NASTY ICKY SEX WAS HEARD 2 SAY "CAN U MAIL ME THE CORK WHEN UR
DONE"
MAY 1 2005
***CODA FINDS UNMENTIONABLES IN HOOTS LAUNDRY***
WHILE THIS REPORTER WAS SCROUNGING FOR NEWS, HOOTS ASKED CODA TO DO HER LAUNDRY....THE CONTENTS
OF THE HAMPER WERE SLIGHTLY SHOCKING; CROTCHLESS EDIBLE UNDIES WERE FOUND AND OUR LAB HAS DETERMINED THE PUBES FOUND CAME
FROM NOT 1 NOT 2 NOT 3 BUT 4 OTHER PEOPLE.....3 FEMALE AND 1 GUY...APPARENTLY HOOTS HOSTED A GANG BANG ON A CERTAIN POSSIBLY
KITCHEN GUY...STAY TUNED AS WE WILL REPORT WHO AFTER DNA TESTS ARE COMPLETE.
APR 29 2005
####BJ RETURNS TO KITCH AND ADOPTS INCESTUAL KIN###
IN A RARE APPEARANCE TODAY BJ SHOWED UP AND IMMEDIATELY ADOPTED PAPASMURF AS HER UNCLE AND
WILD2WILD AS HER AUNT AND QUICKLY SET UP A FAMILY ORGY. PAPASMURF IS REPORTED TO SAY IT WAS NIECE!!!
***BARBIE DOES KEN*** A WHILE BACK THE WIFE CALLED ME A DOLL IN AN EMAIL SO....I THOUGHT
IN MY TWISTED MIND THERE MUST BE A VIDEO ON THE NET OF BARBIE DOIN KEN AND SURE NUFF WAS WHICH I PROMPTLY SENT TO HER AS A
SCENARIO FOR AN ENCOUNTER LMAO CHECK IT OUT AT
